It was absolutely dark, and Kohath was surrounded by the Silence.
All his senses shut down, and all he could feel was an overwhelming inadequacy, and an acute sense of guilt. All his flaws and his faults rampaged into consciousness like an elephant stampede. He still didn't know what sera was, but he was sure it was pressing against him here.
Kohath fell on hands and knees.
"Forgive me!"
for what?
"Lust, pride, envy—"
I forgive you your ambition.
Kohath did not know how to answer this.
you think I will make you sera here, and that it will be enough for you, but sera restored is not the same as sera unbroken. It would not be enough.
Fear overwhelmed him.
"Rescue me!"
you have already been saved.
Kohath did not know how to answer this.
you know more about me than Maro's family, but they already trust me more than you do. ask yourself... why don't you trust me?
Kohath found himself answering before he had time to think about it.
"I've lost so much, and I don't—I don't think it's fair—"
fair? it is impartial. Nyāya lost her mate to the sea. Maro lost his home and his rank. storms fall on all people alike.
"Is that justice? Haven't we earned better?"
earned? what do you think you deserve?
Kohath felt the weight of sera again.
you have not yet seen justice. remember that you stand here on mercy alone.
Kohath did not know how to answer this.
you can reject that mercy, if you want. or, you can trust I know what I am doing.
it will all come out right.
trust me, Kohath.
Kohath stepped backward through the barrier.