The fourth uncolored monkey

The fourth uncolored monkey went to Martin's house and cried
Because the goats had melted all his rocks;
They were indeed the same goats (no indeed, they hadn't died)
As they who melted Mr. Dali's clocks.

And when he finished crying—
When all his tears were spent—
He learned the art of flying,
And to the sky he went.

He crossed the shadows of the sea—to Land's Elbows he flew;
And saw a looksmith bowing on one knee;
This was of course that same old looksmith, yes the same one who
Had been the greeter of the other three.

The monkey saw his humble bow,
And thought, "Hey, this is cool..."
The monkey's new ambition now
Is o'er the world to rule.

The looksmith had no way of knowing the evil plots inside
The head of that uncolored monkey thing;
He merely saw it coming—in his simple heart he said,
"A Monkey, wow, oh let me dance and sing!"

But then a problem came along,
It gave the monkey shocks;
Despite the looksmith's lovely song,
He missed his old pet rocks.

And darkness came into his heart for vengeance on the goats;
He swore he wouldn't rest until they lay
Beneath the hungriness of seas, in treasure chests in boats.
He set out to avenge that very day.

The goats they lived in Chinatown,
Alongside Market Street,
They do not smile, in fact they frown
At hearing Monkey's feet.

The goats had set up armaments against this fateful hour
When someone would come back their fate to seal—
It was that old fourth monkey who was glowing in uncolored power,
The looksmith with him, hair shining bright teal.

(The looksmith wasn't perfect;
No, indeed, my pretty dears!
His hair was his main defect—
That, and he had biscuit ears.)

The goats fought long against the monkey and his faithful friend;
And noone knew which side would soon prevail;
Yet just before that fateful time when things drew to an end
An interruption came—it was a snail.

This was no common shell-thing,
As you sir, may surmise—
His name was Otis Bellfing,
And he was very wise.

"Oh sirs," he said in quiet tones (for snails can not speak loud)—
"I do believe I have some aid for you...
This fighting in our Chinese streets should never be allowed;
There are much better things for you to do!"

So he made up a challenge
The victor to declare;
The goats took up this challenge,
The monkey took this dare.

And Otis' words rang in their ears—they can't forget the sound,
"You must go out and find gold paper clips—
When either team has been and gone and they've been brought and found,
A lovely maid shall kiss the winners' lips!"

A team of goats went southward,
The looksmith went due west;
Some other goats went northward,
The monkey checked the rest.

Canto I
"The looksmith"

The looksmith, heading westward, saw some strange and shiny things;
He saw so much indeed he was amazed—
Although there were no paper clips, 'twere braces, crowns, and rings—
Enough to almost make a man gold-crazed!

Canto II
"One team of goats"

This team of goats went to the south, to castles in the air—
It shocked them that they levitated so;
But as for golden paper clips, indeed there were none there,
So each of them turned, homeward bound to go.

Canto III
"Some other goats"

Some goats went on their way to frozen northlands filled with snow
An Eskimo, though just a lad, attacks—
And knowing they were beat, those goats retreated, home to go
For clearly they had neither clips nor tacks.

Canto IV
"The fourth uncolored monkey"

The fourth uncolored monkey went to Hand-E-Mart and saw
Gold paper clips upon the highest shelf;
But he didn't have no money—(anyway he weren't 'nough tall)
To get any of them for his poor self.

Epilogue

And all of them returned to Market Street in poor defeat—
They had no clips to give unto the snail;
Indeed they had nothing for all their work and cold and heat—
There was no peace for them for their travail.

So Otis B. (the snail, you know)
He said to both the teams,
"Why, you've done good" (HA!) "even though
There's not as much to you as first there seems.

The goats, they said (their eyes in tears), "Alas, alack the day!
We fear there is no way to make us free!"
And so they went and did this (and the monkey thought, "Hooray!"):
They went and drowned themselves beneath the sea.

The looksmith was disturbed by this
He "blah"ed and blurbed all day...
He hadn't won the damsel's kiss—
So he had naught to say!